Why does it take Courage to Post?

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CourageI have been wanting to post, needing to post, planning to post, for quite some time. I have no other excuse, than that I was hesitant to document the last few years of my professional life. I made a choice…not an easy one…to come out of my own classroom and join a team as an Instructional Coach in my district.

This stage of my life has not been the easiest. Being an Instructional Coach is both one of the most challenging and one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had. I absolutely love supporting teachers as they strive to meet their own professional goals and tackle their challenges head-on. The relationships I have developed both with my team, and with the teachers we support, is invaluable. I cannot begin to tell you how much I have learned from everyone during this adventure. Working predominantly with new teachers allows me to latch on to their energy and dream big. Then there is the professional development… Being in a role that places me in the front line of new information and trends has strengthened my skills as both a leader and an educator.

What am I scared of? Why not put all the good out there for everyone to see?

I am beyond transparent when it comes to education and my role as an educator. I know, that through all the good stories I could tell…those that know me well will clearly hear a difference in tone from my prior posts. They will know that there is a huge factor that keeps me from being completely in love with my current role. They would know that I wasn’t being completely honest with myself or with them.

I miss the kids. I miss connecting with a community of students and sitting side by side with them as they work to meet their educational, social, and emotional, goals. As a connected educator, I miss documenting every moment of our growth together as a classroom community and connecting with classrooms around the world. I believe that if our model of coaching were organized differently, where we had more time in each classroom, I could recreate that passion. I definitely won’t stop trying!

If I’m completely honest, I will probably not find my way back into the classroom as a teacher. I am SO close to gaining my Education Leadership credentials and my trajectory is changing yet again. I am inspired daily by administrators like tee62,  @NMHS_Principal, @twhitford@TonySinanis, and @benjamingilpin who have shown what is possible when you become a lead learner within a connected community. I love the way their posts challenge my reality and push me to envision what could be.

It takes courage to post. It takes courage because I feel guilty that I find myself thinking more about my future than my present.

It takes courage to post, but I’m very glad I did.

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6 thoughts on “Why does it take Courage to Post?

  1. Crista,
    Thank you so much for sharing this powerful & personal post with your PLN! I applaud your courage for not only sharing what you love about your current role but what you miss about your past life and what you know almost certainly lies ahead. I also appreciate your kind words about my leadership and what I can tell you with 100% certainty is that my success as a Lead Learner is because of our kids and staff. I used to only have 24 kids or so for the year but now I have over 400 and the smiles that brighten my day are unreal. I connect with our kids; learn from our kids; share with our kids; and care deeply about our kids. It is the best job ever… even with all the stress at times. You will see and I don’t think you will regret it!
    Thank you again for sharing!
    Tony

  2. Thanks Tony! This post has been living in my head for a long time. I certainly don’t want anyone to think that I’m not happy doing what I do… I am VERY happy… I just know there is more; a situation that allows me to focus forward in a more direct way. Your positive energy, and transparency, is definitely inspirational… That connection you describe is what I am so hungry for right now. The sense of community… I’ll get there 😉

  3. The reason I rarely write blog posts anymore is that there is so little conversation happening that way. I also am doing so little innovation in my classroom right now that I have nothing worth sharing in that area and that is always where I want to start any real blog dialogue.

  4. Honestly William, I think that is another part of why I haven’t extended the conversation to a blog. I have not felt challenged creatively. I need that outlet to feel like I’m truly contributing in the way I’d like to be. I love that I can support teachers with implementing Common Core in meaningful ways, support the occasional edtech experiment and work thoughtfully and strategically with PLCs. I don’t love that I focus 80% of my time on helping staff navigate the systems that are in place. Someone providing that clarity and support is necessary…it is just not a part of the job that I expected. I miss the innovation…and being able to follow an idea all the way through the process, rewind, and refine. Here’s what I’ve come to though. If I don’t have that now. I need to figure out a way to get it back. My situation isn’t going to change immediately, and without finding that passion…I will burn out. Perhaps we can find a way to innovate together?? Create an experience we could both blog about??

  5. Crista,

    Powerful! As I read this I felt as though we were sitting face 2 face. I could feel your honesty and passion. Your “voice” comes through in this, I can tell your journey has not been easy. You’ve had ups and downs along the way. These struggles mold us into who we are. Your experiences are what make you special. Thank you for having the courage to share. I can’t wait to see where this journey takes you.

    • Thanks so much, Ben. This journey has not been easy. What I have to remember is that each experience is a point on the journey. Reflection, is the only way to learn from where I’ve been as I continue to look toward the future. I will continue to put myself out there. Knowing my net of support carries so far is incredibly motivating!

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